Write Hand

I write with my right hand.
I throw with my left.
I eat with my right hand.
I play cards with my left.

Can’t open bottles with my right hand.
Actually, never could!

When I eat and try to cut my meat,
I have to stop and think,
“Which hand carries the knife?”
Oh, me! Oh my! What a lot of strife!

I count all my money with my left hand
Just to be sure I get it right.

I stir my coffee with my right hand.
I peel oranges with my left.

Is my left hand actually my right?


Mayflower II

Fire up! Mayflower II!
I’m getting out of here!

My ancestors came here
For Religious freedom.

I’m leaving here for just plain Freedom.
Did I just step into Nazi Germany?
Or even the USSR?

Plus, who did you say is coming
Into our broken-down backdoor?

Actually, just kidding!
The United States of America
Is the best of any in the world!

I could never, ever,
Love any Country more!


5 year olds, sitting under our desks.
Waiting for the sirens to stop.
We thought that we were so safe.
No enemy bombs could find us.

Now that I think about it,
We weren’t scared.
It was just a way of life for us.
No one would let anything bad happen to us,
Now, would they?
We just knew that we were very well protected,
And surrounded by those who cared so much for us.

Yeah, right. Protected.
By a flimsy piece of wood,
That touched the top of our little heads!

The Nuns told us to say a
“Good ‘Act of Contrition’ ” at bedtime.
Just in case we never awoke
From our deep and innocent sleep…
Long after we crawled into
Our nice and warm little beds!

Daylight Savings Time

I looked outside.
It is pitch dark.
What time is it?
Did we eat dinner yet?

I just cannot figure out how it makes any sense
To have Daylight Savings Time
For seven months or so out of the year.
Then snatch it away
And get it all tangled up!
Only to repeat the entire process in reverse.

Reminds me of my grandmother.
Whenever someone complained
About something being too short,
She would always say,
“Cut 3 inches off the top and sew it on the bottom!”

Now…substitute hours for inches.
See what I mean?
So…if we have 9 hours of daylight,
How are we getting any more
If we make it one hour earlier in the day?
And 1 hour earlier in the night?

Still, the little girl within, continues to ask,
“What time is it, Mom?”
“What time is it REALLY, Mom?”

No one has ever yet
Given me a satisfactory answer,
About why we try to juggle time!

Executive Neuron

“Goodnite, now.”
The Executive Neuron said.
It’s time to go to bed.”

Instead of staying up all night…
Just to prowl the house
And to watch that boring TV.

However can you function
Without the direction of Me?
You stumble, not fall,
And make some gigantic mistakes.

So sleep when I sleep.
And stay awake all day.
Instead of disregarding this,
To end up with
Unwanted, sleepy breaks.

Then you’ll be right on top of things
No more dozing and “missing all the good parts.”
Your mind will be as sharp as ever!
And you’ll stop missing all the “Starts!”

Uniformless Army

Observations of a “War Orphan”

Over 70 years ago,
Thousands of young healthy men
Left their towns and families behind to
March into Europe.
They proudly wore uniforms of the US Military.
Ready to defend us from foreign countries.
Countries that they had never before seen.
They had merely been pictures in a book.
Basically, teenagers, or barely out of their teens.

Now, decades later,
Thousands of healthy young men,
Looking much older than our teenagers were.
Dressed in new, contemporary clothes,
They also entered Europe.

Pushing, shoving, racing away from their native lands.
Where are the women and children
That they should be protecting?
Oh, yes, I see a few, but when the picture pans out,
We are left with thousands of young men
Who are running away from their countries.

Are they all cowards?
Or merely an invading
Uniformless Army?